I was heartbroken when I first found out that my girlfriend wants to travel without me. Then I realised it was one of the best things that happened to her, me and our relationship.
But this might not be the case for everyone. For some of you fellas, your girlfriend wanting to vacation without you might signal the end of your relationship.
If your girlfriend wants to travel without you, there may be a disconnect in your relationship. You can (a) act independently and allow her to travel (see tips below) or (b) compromise and take a trip as a couple. But if you are unwilling to do these things, you may be better off separating.
Below, I’ll list 4 reasons why your girlfriend might go on vacation without you and what it means for your future together.
Plus, I’ll list 14 things you can do when your girlfriend does go away without you – things that are beneficial for you and your relationship.
Learn more about dating and solo travel on Nomadic Yak!
My Girlfriend is Going on Vacation Without Me: 4 Reasons Why
Your girlfriend wants to travel alone
If your girlfriend wants to travel alone, this could mean one of several things:
- She wants time alone to work on herself and do things she enjoys; or
- She has been planning to take a solo trip since before you met; or
- She thinks that you won’t enjoy the destination and she will have a better time alone; or
- She wanted you to come but you weren’t available or willing (i.e. you said ‘no’).
Alternatively, your girlfriend might want to travel alone because she feels unsure about your relationship and wants to re-evaluate. This is the most likely explanation if you have been going through a rough patch recently).
If you think she is going away to re-evaluate your relationship, you should spend time doing the same thing. Ask yourself these two questions:
- Are you happier when you spend time apart; and
- If the answer to the first question is yes, should you end your relationship or continue working toward something better?
Your girlfriend wants to travel with another guy
If your girlfriend is going on vacation with another guy, you have the right to feel upset and suspicious.
I would ask myself this question: how well do I know the man that she is travelling with?
If they are a male friend that she has known for a long time (i.e. family friends), you likely have nothing to worry about. Just make sure that you have met the guy and trust him before they leave for their trip together.
And if she is travelling with a gay or LGBTQ+ man, I would not be too worried (they are likely just friends).
But you should be concerned if your girlfriend is travelling with a male friend that she has only recently met. This is inappropriate (especially if you suspect she is having sex whilst travelling).
If she refuses to let you meet her male friend and you believe that you are being emotionally or physically cheated on, you need to consider whether you should continue or end the relationship.
Your girlfriend is going away with friends
If your girlfriend is going on vacation with her female friends, she likely just wants to spend time with the girls doing activities that they enjoy (cafes, shopping, cosmetics, chatting, etc.).
It is common for female friends to agree that they will not bring their boyfriends or husbands on a girls’ trip.
However, if you do not approve of her friends and believe that they will be chasing men, then you will naturally feel upset and may have reason to be suspicious. And if you are certain that she is physically or emotionally cheating whilst on her girls’ trip, you need to consider whether you should continue or end the relationship.
Your girlfriend is going on family vacation
If your girlfriend is going on vacation with her family, you likely have nothing to worry about.
Many people go on holiday with their family whilst their partner stays at home. It may be that:
- The family wants to spend quality time together;
- The family could not afford to pay for you to travel with them;
- The family is participating in holiday activities that you would not enjoy or want to participate in.
In this case, simply wish your girlfriend a nice vacation with her family and try to stay in contact with her throughout the trip. You should only start becoming concerned if she cuts off communication during her trip.
My Girlfriend Wants to Travel Without Me:
14 Things To Do
1. Prove that your relationship is strong by acting independent
The number one sign of a strong relationship is being able to trust your partner when spending time apart.
You and your girlfriend will not always enjoy the same things. There will be times when she wants to travel and you want to stay home. And vice versa.
If you prevent your girlfriend from travelling without you, she will resent you for it.
Instead, support her travels and show that you trust her. She should acknowledge that trust as a sign of your love for her – and this should be enough for her to act responsibly whilst away on her trip.
If she breaks that trust whilst travelling, you know that she is not the woman you want to spend the rest of your life with.
2. Share your feelings and set boundaries without sounding insecure or needy
If you’re upset that your girlfriend wants to travel without you, you’ll naturally want to share your pain with her – and you should.
But don’t do it in a way that makes you sound insecure or needy. You don’t want her to think that you are trying to hold her back. This will make her resentful.
When discussing your girlfriend’s trip with her, tell her that:
- You are excited for her and that you hope she has a great trip.
- You will miss her but you only want what’s best for her.
- You will be fine by yourself but you hope you can chat every few nights on the phone. You look forward to hearing about her travels.
- You trust her but you have expectations and boundaries. Lay out those boundaries.
- You would like to travel together in the future. You may even start researching a trip whilst she is away.
Whatever you do, do not say to your girlfriend: “I don’t want you to go” or “You can’t go.” Again, this will only make her resentful and damage your relationship.
3. Buy her a going-away gift
Remember what I said about independence being healthy in a relationship?
Show your girlfriend that you are truly happy that she is doing something that makes her happy – buy her a going-away gift.
You’ll want to get her something that will help her on her travels. Here are a few ideas…
No more crappy airline earphones. Watch in-flight movies on your Bluetooth headphones.
Save your girl from having to ask others for photos. Tripod and remote take epic landscape shots.
Don’t leave your girl stranded. Help her track lost or stolen luggage using her iPhone.
4. Plan your own solo trip
You have the right to travel alone if your girlfriend goes on a trip without you – equality is a two-way street.
When you travel alone as a man, you make dozens of life-long buddies, party like a mad lad, gobble down exotic foods, see some amazing sights, and learn about the world.
But you also meet lots of single women – so be careful not to break the same boundaries that you set for your girlfriend.
Most importantly, you’ll discover that you don’t need to rely on your girlfriend to enjoy life!
Know what to expect – read my Ultimate Guide to Travelling Alone as a Man: 15 Things to Expect and 5 Tips!
5. Take a photo together before she sets off
I always recommend that solo travellers take a memento from home – something to remind them of their loved ones when they’re feeling homesick on the road.
One of my favourite mementos as a solo traveller is a photograph of my girlfriend that we took using her Kodak Printomatic Instant Camera.
I keep it in my wallet or the back of my phone and look at it almost every day whilst backpacking.
You can do the same for your girlfriend. Take an instant photo together, gift it to her and write a loving note on the back.
Alternatively, take a few photos together on your phone that you can set as your backgrounds.
Bonus tip: If she returns from her trip and has removed you from her phone background, this may be a bad sign – was she trying to hide the fact that she has a boyfriend whilst on vacation?
6. Save yourself as an emergency contact on her phone
You’re likely worried about your girlfriend’s safety whilst she is off travelling.
What if she is harassed? What if she gets hurt or ill? What if she loses her phone or purse?
If your girlfriend finds herself in trouble whilst travelling without you, you will be contactable and able to assist.
7. Video call your girlfriend at least 3 times a week
You don’t have to speak to your girlfriend every single day whilst she’s away (although it’s nice if you do).
But I suggest trying to speak to her at least three times a week. This will help you feel more secure because you will know what she’s up to and who she’s with.
If your girlfriend misses one call, it’s not the end of the world (she’s probably busy or has no phone reception). But if she misses numerous calls and ignores you for days, you have good reason to be upset.
8. Become your strongest and sexiest self
Use the time whilst your girlfriend is away to get jacked. Flood your brain with endorphins and boost your self-confidence so that you are your happiest and most attractive self.
By the time she gets back, you’ll be looking slim, strong and sexy – a reminder of what she’s missed out on whilst away!
9. Start planning a couples holiday for the future
Your girlfriend might think that you don’t like to travel. But maybe you just don’t like the destinations that she visits.
Whilst she’s away, plan a trip to a couple’s destination that you’ll both enjoy!
You don’t have to book it, just gather ideas. Tell her about your plans when she returns and see how she reacts.
If she reacts positively, you’ve just introduced a new and exciting aspect to your relationship – couples travel!
But if she reacts poorly, you may need to think – are we alike enough to make this relationship work? Or are we always going to be worlds apart?
10. Pick up a creative hobby
What are your creative hobbies? Are you a writer, a photographer, a woodworker, a musician, a gamer or a movie buff? Maybe you’re wanting to try something new?
Regardless of whether you’re a snooker shark or a violin virtuoso, you should spend some time getting the creative juices flowing.
The better you become at your hobbies, the more confident you’ll feel in yourself. Show your girlfriend that they’ve got a multi-talented man waiting at home!
Here are some creative ideas that you can distract yourself with whilst your girlfriend is vacationing without you…
11. Hit the town with your mates
Rarely get a chance to hang out with your boys when your girlfriend is around?
Whilst your girlfriend is travelling without you, do all those things that you never get to do:
- Drinks with the lads;
- A golf day;
- Fishing or camping trip!
The more time you spend distracting yourself with family and friends, the less time you’ll spend thinking about your travelling girlfriend.
12. Listen to these books about becoming a better man
Life improves exponentially when you show humility and admit that you are not the perfect boyfriend.
Devote yourself to becoming healthy, wealthy, wise and happy – you will feel more self-confident and appear more attractive to your girlfriend.
Because when you work on becoming a better man, you instinctively become a better boyfriend.
Here are a few of the masculine podcasts that I listen to for self-help and relationship advice:
- The Huberman Lab (focused on improving physical health)
- The Joe Rogan Experience (in-depth interviews with experts across a range of fields)
- The Jordan Peterson Podcast (interviews and lectures about personality and politics)
- The Tim Ferriss Show (tools, tactics and tricks to improve your life and workflow)
- The Adam Friedland Show (just for laughs)
And here are a few books that I’ve listened to that have helped me become a better man:
by James Clear
Practical advice that has made me 5x more efficient in my work and home life.
by Dr Robert Glover
Quit being a push-around. Be the real you. Get what you want in love, sex and life.
by Dale Carnegie
Speak to anyone about anything and have them adore you within 60 seconds.
by Tony Robbins
His seminars usually cost $1,000s. Now you can harness your untapped abilities, talents and skills.
by Jordan Peterson
The most popular book on the planet. Your life is worse off if you haven’t read it yet.
by Scott Pape
The only money guide you’ll ever need. Simple and practical steps to become wealthy.
13. Send her hot messages
The #1 thing that most guys worry about when their girlfriend goes away without them – she will have a wandering eye and spend the night with some stud.
If you’re in a loving and trusting relationship, you probably don’t need to worry about this whilst your girlfriend is on vacation. Still, you can keep her on the hook by sending loving messages and a few hot pictures now and then.
But if you’re constantly worrying whether your girlfriend is being unfaithful – well, you’re probably in a weak relationship. It doesn’t matter how many sexy messages you send. You should instead be spending your time reconsidering your romantic future.
14. Surprise her when she gets back
If you follow the advice in this article, you should be feeling as healthy, happy and sexy as ever by the time your girlfriend gets home from her travels.
So make her return home even more memorable than her time away!
Here are a few ideas that will rock your girlfriend’s world when she gets back:
- Be waiting at the airport to pick her up and take her home.
- Buy her flowers as a welcome-home gift.
- Cook her favourite meal or grab a takeaway from her favourite spot.
- Have some cold drinks waiting in the fridge for her when she gets home.
- Buy some aromatherapy sensual massage oil and offer her a massage.
Quiz: Can You Trust Your Girlfriend on Vacation?
If you want to know whether you can trust your girlfriend on vacation, you need to ask yourself these questions:
- Did she ask me to travel with her?
- Do I know the people she is travelling with?
- Have we agreed upon boundaries and expectations?
- Is she contacting me regularly?
- Is she keeping me informed on where she’s going and what she’s doing?
- Is she acting normal when she does contact me?
- Has she always been faithful to me?
- Do we both agree that independence is healthy in a relationship?
If you answer ‘Yes’ to most or all of the questions above, you can trust your girlfriend on vacation. She likely has good intentions and is travelling to enjoy herself and grow as a person.
You might also be tempted to ask yourself questions like:
- Is she hanging out with other guys in her social media posts?
- Has she added new guys on social media?
Whilst stalking your girlfriend on social media might seem like a great way to determine whether you can trust your girlfriend on vacation, it does not always paint the whole picture.
If you do notice that she is hanging out with other guys on social media, you have the right to ask her who they are. Her response will dictate whether or not you can continue trusting your girlfriend whilst she’s away.
Summary: Should I Let My Girlfriend Go on Vacation Without Me
You should let your girlfriend go on vacation without you if she wants to go:
- With family;
- With her female friends.
But you should be concerned if your girlfriend wants to travel without you because he is vacationing with male friends.
If you do not let your girlfriend travel and enjoy her independent interests, she will resent you for it.
Whilst it can be tough trusting your girlfriend when she is away on a trip without you, it is a good test of the strength of your relationship.
Her actions whilst away will dictate how much she loves and respects you – and potentially determine the future of your relationship.
If she proves to be trustworthy whilst travelling, you know that you have a keeper. Your relationship is stronger thanks to the trust you have shown and the sense of independence that you both enjoy.
If she proves to be untrustworthy during her vacation (i.e. she cheats on you), you know that there are problems in your relationship. You then need to decide whether to continue or end the relationship.
Remember, a little time apart can spark joy and excitement in your relationship. Because as the old saying goes, distance makes the heart grow fonder.
Find More Solo Travel Tips on Nomadic Yak
There are many reasons why your girlfriend may go away without you.
And there are many reasons why you should also go travelling alone!
Nomadic Yak helps solo travellers to plan journeys that are adventurous and authentic.
Every article is written by me, Harry. I’ve travelled to 40+ countries over the last 5 years – mostly alone.
See my advice about making friends, dating and sex during solo travel.
You’ll also find 100s of solo travel tips on how to save money, make more friends, build a social media following and much more.
Plus, you can use my solo travel destination guides to discover international sights and attractions that few other travellers get to witness.