You’re jealous, angry and nervous all at the same time – “My boyfriend is going on a trip without me!”
Who is he travelling with? Why doesn’t he want me to travel with him? What will I do when my boyfriend goes away without me?
In this article, I will list 15 things to do when your boyfriend goes away on vacation. These activities will help you to feel better, track your husband’s movements and potentially save your relationship.
I’ve also listed 5 reasons why your boyfriend may choose to travel without you and why he prefers to travel alone or with friends and family.
Learn more about dating and solo travel on Nomadic Yak!
- Husband/Boyfriend Traveling Without Me:
- 15 Things To Do When Your Boyfriend Goes Away Without You
- Quiz: Can You Trust Your Boyfriend to Travel Without You
- Should I Let My Husband Travel Alone?
- More Solo Travel Tips
Husband/Boyfriend Traveling Without Me:
Alone vs with Friends vs with Family
If your boyfriend or husband is going on a vacation without you, who is he travelling with?
His chosen travel partner could give you clues as to why he is travelling without you and what it means for the future of your relationship.
Boyfriend or husband wants to travel alone
If your boyfriend or husband wants to travel alone, this could mean one of several things:
- He feels that he needs time alone to work on himself and do things he enjoys; OR
- He has been planning this solo trip for a long time and intends to complete it alone; OR
- He thinks that you won’t enjoy the destination and he will have a more enjoyable experience if he travels by himself; OR
- He wanted you to come but you weren’t available or willing.
Alternatively, he may want to travel alone so that he can re-evaluate your relationship (particularly if you are going through a bit of a rough patch). If you think that this is the case, you should spend time doing the same thing – are you happier when you spend time apart and if so, should you end your relationship or continue working toward something better?
Boyfriend or husband going on vacation with male friends
If your boyfriend or husband is going on vacation with male friends, he likely just wants to spend time with the lads doing activities that they enjoy (fishing, sporting, drinking, gaming, etc.). It is common for male friends to agree that they will not bring their girlfriends or wives on a boys’ trip.
However, if you do not approve of his male friends and believe that they are womanisers, then you will naturally feel upset and may have reason to be suspicious. And if you are certain that he is physically or emotionally cheating with other women whilst on his boys’ trip, you need to consider whether you should continue or end the relationship.
Boyfriend or husband going on vacation with female friends
If your boyfriend or husband is going on vacation with female friends, you have the right to feel suspicious and upset.
How well do you know the female friends that he is travelling with?
If they are female friends he has known for a long time (i.e. since childhood), you likely have nothing to worry about. Just make sure that you have met his female friend and trust them before they leave for their trip together.
But if they are a female friend that he has only recently met, you should be concerned. This is inappropriate behaviour. If he refuses to let you meet his female friend and you believe that you are being emotionally or physically cheated on, you need to consider whether you should continue or end the relationship.
Boyfriend or husband going on vacation with friends and their girlfriends
It is concerning if your boyfriend or husband is going on vacation with his friends and their girlfriends but you are not invited.
Perhaps your relationship is new and you are not yet at a stage where he is ready to introduce you to his family and friends. In this case, you likely have nothing to worry about. As your relationship blooms, he will likely start inviting you on vacation.
But if you are in a long-term relationship, you need to ask your boyfriend why you are not invited.
If your boyfriend has not invited you on vacation with friends and their girlfriends, this may indicate that:
- He does not consider your relationship serious enough to introduce to his friends; OR
- He thinks he would have a better time without you; OR
- He might be shy or nervous about introducing you to his friends.
Depending on his response, you need to determine whether he values you as a partner. And if he does not appreciate you, you need to consider whether you should continue or end the relationship.
Boyfriend or husband going on family vacation without me
If your boyfriend is going on vacation with his family, you likely have nothing to worry about.
Many people go on holiday with their family whilst their partner stays at home. It may be that:
- The family wants to spend quality time together;
- The family could not afford to pay for you to travel with them;
- The family is participating in holiday activities that you would not enjoy or want to participate in.
In this case, simply wish your boyfriend a nice vacation with his family and try to stay in contact with him throughout the trip. You should only start becoming concerned if he cuts off communication during his trip.
What To Do When Your Boyfriend Goes on Vacation Without You – 15 Tips
1. Prove that your relationship is strong by being independent
The number one sign of a strong relationship is being able to trust your partner when spending time apart.
You and your boyfriend will not always enjoy the same things. There will be times when he wants to travel and you want to stay home. And vice versa.
If you prevent your boyfriend or husband from travelling without you, he will resent you for it.
Instead, support his travels and show that you trust him. He should acknowledge that trust as a sign of your love for him – and this should be enough for him to act responsibly whilst away on his trip.
If he breaks that trust whilst travelling, you know that he is not the man you want to spend the rest of your life with.
2. Share your feelings and set boundaries without sounding insecure or needy
If you’re upset that your boyfriend wants to travel without you, you’ll naturally want to share your pain with him – and you should.
But don’t do it in a way that makes you sound insecure or needy. You don’t want him to think that you are trying to hold him back. This will make him resentful.
When discussing your boyfriend or husband’s trip with him, tell him that:
- You are excited for him and that you hope he has a great trip.
- You will miss him but you only want what’s best for him.
- You will be fine by yourself but you hope you can chat every few nights on the phone. You look forward to hearing about his travels.
- You trust him but you have expectations and boundaries. Lay out those boundaries.
- You would like to travel together in the future. You may even start researching a trip whilst he is away.
Whatever you do, do not say to your boyfriend or husband: “I don’t want you to go” or “You can’t go.” Again, this will only make him resentful and damage your relationship.
3. Plan your own solo trip
Now that your boyfriend has gone away on a trip without you, you’re left wondering – should I go on a trip without my boyfriend?
It’s only fair that you have the right to travel alone too.
Along the way, you’ll make life-long buddies, try exotic foods, see some amazing sights, and learn about the world.
But most importantly, you’ll discover that you don’t need to rely on your man to enjoy life!
4. Redecorate your room (whilst you have the chance)
Whilst your boyfriend or husband is travelling, now is your chance to make the changes around the house that you’ve been dreaming of!
Turn your room into a haven, a cosy space where you can feel happy and safe whilst spending time alone.
Here are a few ideas to make your home a stress-free zone…
5. Go out with family and friends
Rarely get a chance to hang out with your girlfriends or family when your boyfriend is around?
Whilst your boyfriend is travelling without you, do all those things that you never get to do:
- Drinks with the girls;
- A spa day;
- Theatre or movies;
- Yoga or exercise class;
- An old-school sleepover!
The more time you spend distracting yourself with family and friends, the less time you’ll spend thinking about your travelling boyfriend or husband.
6. Pamper yourself every night
When you look your best, you feel your best. So whilst your man is away, take care of your body and mind by forming a nightly pamper routine.
Here are some ideas that you can add to your pamper sessions. You’ll be positively glowing by the time your boyfriend gets back from his travels.
7. Contact your boyfriend at least 3 times a week via Whatsapp
You don’t have to speak to your boyfriend or husband every single day (although it’s nice if you do).
But I suggest trying to speak to him at least three times a week whilst he’s away. This will help you feel more secure because you will know what he’s up to and who he’s with.
If your boyfriend or husband misses one call, it’s not the end of the world (he’s probably busy or has no phone reception). But if he misses numerous calls and ignores you for days, you have good reason to be upset.
I find Whatsapp to be the best for making video calls whilst travelling. It uses less data, meaning that you’ll be able to see your boyfriend’s face more clearly when he’s calling from the middle of nowhere with snail-speed internet.
8. Become your healthiest (and most beautiful) self
Get the blood flowing and the endorphins pumping with some exercise whilst your boyfriend or husband is away on his trip.
By the time he gets back, you’ll be looking slim, strong and attractive – a reminder of what he’s missed out on whilst away!
9. Spend less time scrolling on your phone
You’re constantly scrolling through Instagram, Snapchat and TikTok waiting for your boyfriend to post pics from his trip. When you’re not scrolling, you’re waiting on Messenger and Whatsapp for him to appear online.
Stop it. Just stop.
The more time you spend on social media, waiting for your boyfriend, the worse you’ll feel about the situation. What’s he up to? Where is he? Why hasn’t he been online in 5 minutes?
Lock your phone away (get one of these lock boxes if you have to) and do absolutely anything else – read a book, watch a movie, paint a picture, meet up with friends.
Just stay off of your phone.
10. Track him with AirTags (but don’t do it illegally)
It is illegal to track someone using an Airtag without their knowing. Plus, if your boyfriend uses an Apple device, he will get an alert saying that an unknown AirTag has been travelling with him.
But perhaps you could suggest to your boyfriend or husband that he puts an Airtag in his bag or wallet so that you can track it down if he loses it or has it stolen whilst travelling. This is beneficial for both of you!
In all honesty, you are probably better off not tracking him at all and simply trusting him to do the right thing.
Note that multiple devices can not track the same Airtag. Either, you would have to connect the Airtag to your Apple ID (meaning your boyfriend/husband couldn’t track it) or you would have to share an Apple ID with your boyfriend or husband.
11. Start planning a couples holiday for the future
Your boyfriend might think that you don’t like to travel. But maybe you just don’t like the destinations that he visits.
So, compromise! Whilst he’s away, plan a trip to a couple’s destination that you’ll both enjoy!
You don’t have to book it, just gather ideas. Tell him about your plans when he returns and see how he reacts.
If he reacts positively, you’ve just introduced a new and exciting aspect to your relationship – couples travel!
But if he reacts poorly, you may need to think – are we alike enough to make this relationship work? Or are we always going to be worlds apart?
12. Take a photo together before he sets off
I always recommend that solo travellers take a memento from home – something to remind them of their loved ones when they’re feeling homesick on the road.
One of my favourite mementos as a solo traveller is a photograph of my girlfriend that we took using her Kodak Printomatic Instant Camera.
I keep it in my wallet or the back of my phone and look at it almost every day whilst backpacking.
You can do the same if you have a film camera. And as an added touch, write a loving note on the back of it for him.
Alternatively, take a few photos on your phone and set them as your backgrounds.
Bonus tip: If he has changed his phone background by the time he gets back from his travels, you may have to ask yourself: was he trying to hide the fact that he has a girlfriend?
13. Put yourself as an emergency contact on his phone
You’re likely worried about your husband or boyfriend’s safety whilst they are off travelling.
What if they get hurt or ill? What if they lose their phone or wallet? Who will take care of them?
If your boyfriend or husband finds themselves in trouble whilst travelling without you, you will be contactable and able to assist.
14. Pick up a creative hobby
What are your creative hobbies? Are you a writer, a singer, a dancer, a knitter or an artist? Are you wanting to try something new?
The better you become at your hobbies, the more confident you’ll feel in yourself.
Show your boyfriend or husband that they’ve got a super-talented woman waiting at home!
Here are some creative ideas that you can distract yourself with whilst your boyfriend is travelling without you…
15. Surprise him when he gets back
If you follow the advice in this article, you should be feeling as healthy, happy and attractive as ever by the time your husband or boyfriend gets home from his travels.
So show him what he’s been missing out on whilst he was away!
Here are a few ideas that will rock your boyfriend’s socks off…
- Be waiting at the airport to pick him up and take him home. Save him the pain of a long bus or train journey alone.
- Cook his favourite meal or grab a takeaway from your favourite spot.
- Have some cold drinks waiting in the fridge for him when he gets home.
- Buy some aromatherapy oil and offer him a massage.
- Dress up in some AvidLove lingerie and let him know how much you’ve missed him.
You can even give him a teaser whilst he’s away and send him some cheeky pictures. Perform your own photo shoot session with an affordable light ring.
Boyfriend/Husband Going on Vacation Without Me –
The #1 Question to Ask Yourself
If you’re boyfriend or husband is going away without you, there is one vital question that you need to ask yourself:
Did he ask me if I wanted to travel with him?
My boyfriend or husband did ask me to go away with him
If your boyfriend did ask you to go on a trip with him and you said “no”, try not to be upset or become jealous when he does leave for his trip.
There are many legitimate reasons why you may not be able to travel with your boyfriend or husband:
- You are too busy with work and other commitments
- You do not want to visit the destination that he is travelling to
- You do not like the people he is travelling with
- You do not like to travel.
But using these reasons to prevent your boyfriend or husband from travelling will only make him resentful and damage your relationship.
Instead, support his travels and make the most of your independence (see the section above on what to do when your boyfriend goes on vacation).
My boyfriend or husband did not ask me to go away with him
If your boyfriend or husband did not ask you to go on the trip with him, it is only natural that you will feel upset, jealous and angry.
He may have presumed that you did not want to go on the trip with him. But that is no excuse – he should have asked you or at least explained why he feels the need to travel without you.
If he does not explain himself, this is a strong indicator that he does not care about your feelings and it may not be worth maintaining a relationship with him.
The next question to ask yourself is: who is my boyfriend or husband travelling with? This could explain why he felt the need to travel without you (see above).
Summary: Should I Let My Husband/Boyfriend Travel Alone?
You should let your husband or boyfriend travel without you if he wants to go:
- With family;
- With his male friends.
But you should be concerned if your husband or boyfriend wants to travel without you because he is vacationing with:
- Female friends;
- His friends and their girlfriends.
If you do not let your husband travel and enjoy his independent interests, he will resent you for it.
Whilst it can be tough trusting your boyfriend or husband when he is away on a trip without you, it is a good test of the strength of your relationship.
His actions whilst away will dictate how much he loves you and respects you – and potentially determine the future of your relationship.
If he proves himself to be trustworthy whilst travelling, you know that you have a keeper. Your relationship is stronger thanks to the trust you have shown and the sense of independence that you both enjoy.
If he proves himself to be untrustworthy during his vacation (i.e. cheating on you), you know that there are problems in your relationship. You then need to decide whether to continue or end the relationship.
Remember, a little time apart can spark joy and excitement in your relationship. Because as the old saying goes, distance makes the heart grow fonder.
Find More Solo Travel Tips on Nomadic Yak
There are many reasons why your boyfriend may go away without you.
And there are many reasons why you should also go travelling alone!
Nomadic Yak helps solo travellers to plan journeys that are adventurous and authentic.
Every article is written by me, Harry. I’ve travelled to 40+ countries over the last 5 years – mostly alone.
See my advice about making friends, dating and sex during solo travel.
You’ll also find 100s of solo travel tips on how to save money, make more friends, build a social media following and much more.
Plus, you can use my solo travel destination guides to discover international sights and attractions that few other travellers get to witness.