You’re happily married or dating the person of your dreams. Then one day, they drop a bomb: they want to travel alone. What do you do when your partner goes away without you?
When your partner goes away without you, your first reaction is to panic and think that your relationship is in trouble. However, there are many reasons why your partner may travel without you; including time constraints, financial issues, safety concerns or some other specific reason (e.g. a boy’s trip).
Learn more about dating and solo travel on Nomadic Yak!
What Does it Mean When Your Partner Goes Away Without You – 10 Reasons
1. Your partner thinks you don’t enjoy travel
Have you made it clear to your partner that you don’t like to travel? Maybe you prefer to do things closer to home?
When your partner goes away without you, they may do so because they think that you don’t enjoy travelling. They may be worried that you will spoil their trip or that you would simply be happier at home.
If you don’t enjoy travel, plan how you can best spend your time at home whilst your partner is away (see the tips below).
Is there anything that your partner doesn’t enjoy doing? Now is your opportunity to do those things!
2. Your partner thinks you won’t enjoy the destination
What kind of activities and attractions is your partner planning on visiting during their trip?
When your partner goes away without you, it may be because they are concerned that you won’t enjoy the itinerary.
For example, maybe your partner plans on visiting museums and art galleries every day. And maybe that’s not your thing. That’s totally fine!
But it is up to you to decide whether or not you think you will enjoy the planned activities and attractions. You could suggest to your partner that you would like to travel with them, even if you do separate activities during the day.
However, do not force your partner to change all of their travel plans. This will only make them resentful.
3. Your partner thinks it might be unsafe to take you
Is your boyfriend or girlfriend travelling to a destination that is considered dangerous or unsafe?
When your partner goes away without you, it may be because they are concerned that you will be in danger.
For example, some men may not want their girlfriend or wife to travel to countries like Egypt, Iran or India. This could be because they are worried that females are commonly harassed in these destinations.
Ultimately, however, it is up to you to decide whether or not you think the destination is safe for you to visit. If you believe this is why your partner is going away without you, discuss whether you would feel safe accompanying them.
4. Your partner doesn’t want to pay for your travel expenses
Is your partner travelling to a particularly luxurious destination? Do they feel obliged to pay for your travel expenses?
When your partner goes away without you, it may be because they cannot afford to cover your travel expenses.
For example, if you are currently unemployed and unable to pay for travel, your partner may choose to travel without you. Or maybe you expect your partner to cover your travel expenses and they don’t want to?
It is up to you to decide whether you can afford to travel with your partner. If you think you can afford it, ask your partner whether it is a financial matter and tell them that you are happy to pay your own way.
5. Your partner thinks you’re too busy
Did your partner ask you to travel with them but you couldn’t get time off of work?
When your partner goes away without you, it may be because you couldn’t secure enough holiday time.
But do you have the right to be annoyed if your partner goes travelling anyway? The answer depends on the context.
Did your partner ask you to travel with them? If they did ask you and you said “No, I am too busy,” try not to feel annoyed. Instead, support your partner’s travels and start planning a future holiday together so that you can secure time off in advance.
However, if your partner booked a trip without asking you first, you do have the right to feel annoyed. This is a selfish act and should make you question whether your partner really cares about you.
6. Your partner is going away for a specific reason
Is there some particular reason why your partner is going away?
When your partner goes away without you, they may be doing so for a specific reason, like:
- Family matters
- Visiting a friend
- Sporting event
- Personal business (e.g. renewing a passport).
It is up to you to decide whether you believe that your partner’s reason for going away without you is justified. If you think it is unjustified, sit down with them and have your feelings heard.
It may be that your partner didn’t realise that you wanted to travel with them. This is easily resolved and they’ll likely be happy to have you come along.
7. Your partner is going on a boys-only or girls-only trip
When your partner goes away without you, it may be because they are going on a boys-only or girls-only trip.
Whilst it can be daunting when your partner goes away without you on one of these trips (e.g. a bucks party or a hens party), it is not really your place to join them.
All you can do in this situation is lay some ground rules with your partner and place trust in them that they will do the right thing.
8. Your partner wants some independence
Do you and your partner spend all your time together? Do they often seek some time alone?
When your partner goes away without you, it may be because they need some time alone and want to experience independence.
Independence is important because it gives you an opportunity to develop as a person. If your partner relies on you to do everything for them, they may want to travel without you so that they can grow and become more independent.
Your partner may also need some time alone, to clear their thoughts about life, your relationship and their career.
But this is not necessarily a bad thing – absence makes the heart grow fonder. They may quickly realise how much you mean to them and how much they miss you.
9. Your relationship is troubled
Are you worried that your partner is going away without you because they no longer love you?
This is the answer that everyone fears. But it may not be the case. In fact, your relationship may be strong if you trust your partner to go away without you (see below).
However, in some cases, it may be the case that your partner is travelling without you because your relationship is in trouble.
If this is the case, you need to sit down with your partner and discuss why they want to travel alone and what they will be doing. It is an uncomfortable conversation but a necessary one. It could ultimately determine whether the relationship is repairable or not.
And if your partner admits that they are travelling without you because they no longer want to be in the relationship, do not try to hold on. You should let go and move on. They may quickly realise that they have made a terrible mistake.
10. Your relationship is strong
Do you trust your partner to travel without you? And do they trust you to travel without them?
If you are not worried when your partner goes away without you, you are probably in a strong relationship.
You trust that your partner will do the right thing and remain loyal throughout their trip. And your partner trusts that you will also be loyal and not unjustifiably upset that they are travelling alone.
12 Things to Do When Your Partner Goes Away Without You
So, what do you do when your partner goes away without you? Here are my top 12 tips for surviving when your partner goes travelling alone!
1. Take your own solo trip somewhere
If your partner goes away without you, you should be allowed to travel without them. So, why not take your own trip to one of the best solo travel destinations in the world?
Along the way, you’ll make new friends, try exotic foods, see some amazing sights, and learn about the world and yourself!
Worried about getting lonely? See my article, is solo travel lonely?
2. Snap an instant photo as a pocket memento
Before your partner goes away without you, give them a memento to remember you by when they’re feeling lonely and homesick.
One of my favourite mementos as a solo traveller is a photograph of my girlfriend that we took using her Kodak Printomatic Digital Instant Camera (includes MicroSD card slot for digital copies as well).
I keep it in my wallet and look at it almost every day whilst backpacking.
As an added touch, write a loving note on the back of it for your partner.
3. Make the most of ‘Find My’ smartphone
However, you must discuss this idea with your partner (do not set it up secretly). Be warned, they may feel like you do not trust them if you have to constantly track their GPS location.
On the other hand, tracking your partner’s GPS location may be a good idea if they are travelling to a dangerous destination.
4. Schedule regular video calls
When your partner goes away without you, schedule a regular time for a video chat each night. Choose a time that is convenient for both of you.
Get them to agree before they leave – that they will be committed to making an effort and calling as often as reasonable.
However, be aware that your partner will likely miss one or two calls during their trip (travel cannot always be planned perfectly).
5. Transform your room into your happy place
It’s depressing when your partner goes away without you. You get back to your bedroom and it feels so quiet and lonely.
A little transformation can make your bedroom feel warm and inviting again.
Here are a few ideas to turn your bedroom into a happy little haven where you can pass the time until your partner returns…
6. Put yourself as an emergency contact in their phone
Most smartphones have a feature that allows you to save and easily access emergency contacts.
If your partner finds themselves in trouble or loses their phone, you will be contactable and able to assist.
7. Send hot pics to your partner
No matter how much you trust your partner, there’s always a niggling worry in the back of your mind that they’ll meet attractive strangers whilst away without you.
Remind your partner that the hottest person they know is waiting at home for them.
Ladies can go the extra mile – get dressed up in lingerie and invest in an affordable lighting ring. Turn it into a photo shoot and send him your favourite pics.
Men… well, you’re just going to have to get creative. Maybe a shower shot or a full-body flex.
8. Stay shapely and sexy
It’s easy to feel depressed and lazy when your partner goes away without you.
But imagine how much better you’ll look and feel if you get just a half hour of exercise every day.
And your partner will be blown away when they return to find you looking sexier than ever.
Here are a few ideas to help you stay in shape whilst your partner is off travelling…
9. Catch up with old friends and family
It’s easy to forget about old friends when you’re in a long-term relationship.
Whilst your partner is away, catch up with family and friends that you haven’t seen in a long time.
Ask them if they want to catch up for coffee or a drink at a bar. Maybe dinner and a movie. Just give yourself enough time to catch up on all the goss!
10. Pick up creative habits
Everyone is talented in at least one way. So, what is your natural talent? Maybe you just haven’t found it yet?
The better we become at our hobbies, the more confident we feel in ourselves. And the more confident we feel in ourselves, the more attractive we are to our partner.
Here are some creative ideas that you can distract yourself with whilst your partner is travelling without you…
11. Plan your dream couple’s trip
Don’t like the destinations that your partner visits?
Whilst your partner is away without you, plan a trip to a couple’s destination that you’ll both enjoy!
You don’t have to book it, just gather ideas and get your partner excited. When your partner returns, then you can go ahead and finalise the details together.
Congratulations, you’ve just introduced a new and exciting aspect to your relationship – couples travel!
12. Surprise your partner when they get back
Your partner probably had an awesome time whilst they were away on vacation.
But you can make their return even more memorable than their trip!
Remind your partner of what they’ve been missing out on at home. Here are a few sweet ideas…
- Surprise your partner by picking them up at the airport with a gift (e.g. flowers or chocolate).
- Cook their favourite meal or grab a takeaway from their favourite spot.
- Prepare snacks and drinks and choose a movie for an in-house date night.
- Grab some aromatherapy sensual massage oil and offer them a massage after their long journey!
6 Books to Read When Your Partner Goes Away Without You
by Audrey Niffenegger
Why? An iconic love story about a time travelling librarian (Henry) and an artist (Clare). Their passionate affair endures despite being separated by a sea of time. A must-read for any woman who is suffering whilst their partner is away.
Review from Goodreads: “One of the best science fiction books I have ever read. I cried when I read it and I don’t know if a book has moved me that much before.” – Joseph Dewey
by Amir Levine and Rachel Heller
Why? There are 3 types of partners: anxious, avoidant and secure. If your partner is travelling without you, you may be anxious (overly worried about your relationship) and your partner may be avoidant (independent and indifferent towards your relationship). Learn how to strike a happy balance.
Review from Amazon: “Taking the test at the beginning for myself and then taking the test for my ex-partner really showed how it was easy for things to go wrong between us.” – Lisa Wakeham
by Milena Nguyen
Why? A practical guide to dealing with the day-to-day issues that crop up in long-distance relationships. Keep the love alive whilst your partner is away without you.
Review from Amazon: “I would recommend this book to any young woman entering into, or currently in a long-distance relationship. The author provides solid advice for how to move away from doubt and anxiety, and into stability and trust.” – Hannoea
by Jennifer E. Smith
Why? Nominated for a Good Reads Choice Award, the story of a young couple who stay in touch via postcards, emails and phone calls whilst travelling in different parts of the world. A reminder that tough times can have happy endings.
Review from Amazon: “The Geography of You and Me will take you to London, Paris, Scotland, California, Michigan and everywhere else, grabbing your heart without you knowing it. At the end of it, you’ll feel the urge to travel, live and love. Such a great read.” – Dianne @ Oops!
by Marc Manson
Why? When you stop worrying about the lives of others, you can focus on living the life that you want to lead. Stop worrying about your partner travelling without you. Start focusing on what you want.
Review from Goodreads: “The aim of this book is to help the reader to think a little bit more clearly about what they’re choosing to find important in life and what they’re choosing to find unimportant.” – Clumsy Storyteller
by Harville Hendrix, Ph.D.
Why? Your childhood relationship with your parents affects your romantic relationships in adulthood. Use the set questions to discover what is truly important to you in a relationship. Can you really put up with your partner travelling without you?
Review from Goodreads: “It’s a life-changing book. Read it and everything will start to make sense. Real change begins with self-awareness. This book will show you how to make that change in your relationship so you can live happily ever after.” – Mai
Summary – When Your Partner Goes Away Without You
When your partner goes away without you, do not panic and assume that your relationship is doomed. As seen above, there are many reasons why your partner may want to travel alone.
Whatever the reason, you need to have a discussion with your partner and get a firm answer on why they are going away without you. Once you have an answer, you can determine whether or not they are justified in going away without you.
If you want to travel with your partner, make your feelings heard and ask to accompany them. But if you think that your partner is travelling alone because they no longer have feelings for you, you should reconsider your relationship.
Remember, it is not always a bad thing when your partner goes away without you. Absence makes the heart grow fonder. They may quickly realise how much you mean to them, and how much they miss you and love you.
Find More Solo Travel Tips on Nomadic Yak
There are many reasons why your partner may go away without you.
And there are many reasons why you should also go travelling alone!
Nomadic Yak helps solo travellers to plan journeys that are adventurous and authentic.
Every article is written by me, Harry Dale. I’ve travelled to 40+ countries over the last 5 years – alone.
See my advice about making friends, dating and having sex during solo travel.
You’ll also find 100s of solo travel tips on how to save money, make more friends, build a social media following and much more.
Plus, you can use my solo travel destination guides to discover international sights and attractions that few other travellers get to witness.